Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How's work?
Spinning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
