If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
