Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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