So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
