I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize