I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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