You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
