And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
