Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
