This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
