I must be too annoying 4 u.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
