You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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