Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
