I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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