Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
