So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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