he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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