she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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