dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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