I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He told me they were just razor bumps!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
