we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
