Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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