If that was your dad, he is hot
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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