where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
