You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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