We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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