just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
