the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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