your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
