but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
