I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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