you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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