His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
