I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
