I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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