Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
