How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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