Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
