Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
