My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
