I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
