he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
