Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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