I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
