OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
