i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
