I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
