I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
