Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize