Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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