I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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