How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
