When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
