I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
