You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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