When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
