Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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