We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize