Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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