he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
