just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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