I feel great
I just peed on a car
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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