So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
