Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize