A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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