sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
