i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Damn victory sex feels great
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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