I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
