I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize