I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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