meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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