The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Text me some of your sweat
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
